WINTER’S BLESSINGS

I write today, looking out over the fresh layer of snow, frosted tree limbs, critters busily scurrying about and my river. As I viewed God's handiwork, I had an epiphany. One of the advantages of my region of the country is that we contribute to the national economy, not just by automotive design and production, but because we buy four seasons worth of clothing.

My relatives down South only have to purchase one, maybe two seasons worth, of shorts and tube tops. Jimmy Bill Bob, likes his tube tops, yet I don't have the heart to tell him that they do not look particularly flattering on him. The vision of a hairy, 290 pound, beer swillin', sausage-grillin' man in a tube top, double-beer holstered hard hat makes me nauseous, especially since I recently ate breakfast. So, my southern kin do not contribute equally to the nation's economy. Therefore, the hypocrisy emanating from their Congressional delegation, more concerned with foreign interests than our domestic manufacturers, makes me ponder the economic disparity between different regions of our country and the need for innovation.

I have an idea for Rick Waggoner, CEO of General Motors, making his case before Congress this week...A triple mode, hybrid Chevy that is battery-operated, beer powered and encased in foam. Now safety restrictions would be necessary, such as the driver cannot tap the fuel supply while in transit; and a breathAlizer to ascertain if he or she has halitosis. The third means of propulsion, you ask? I propose energy conversion of equine gastric inversion. No foreign manufacturer has thought of that! For horse sense that smells, ask Mr. Ed.